There’s a word missing from the 2020 Presidential Election narrative that should be connected to the impact of COVID19 in the US.
Pretty much every time I turn on local or cable news, I experience partisan blame hyping topics such as “economy”, “vaccination”, “testing”, “masks” and “school”. Sometimes the science brains tell us one thing, and the next time they tell us another. And each time I hear “these same ol’ things” I become angrier.
Since I know that anger is the doorbell of emotions – you have to answer the door to see who is there, and when you feel anger you need to ask yourself what the underlying emotion really is – I know that my anger in this case is an indicator of feeling disrespected, anxious and worried. Rather than waiting for COVID19 to pass, it’s dawning on us that we need to adjust our thinking to living with new ways to accomplish tasks of daily living. The hundreds of conversations I’ve had as a tele-therapist lately confirm that I’m not alone.
Brady Smith’s 2019 kids’ book title You’re Missing It keeps ringing in my ears. It’s about a kid trying to point out things to their distracted dad who is otherwise fixated on his smart phone. The word our politicians, scientists and speech writers have missed as they talk about everything else is “family”. I believe that the presidential candidate who begins using this word will be the candidate to resonate with voting families. Until someone does, in my humble opinion they are all completely missing it. The other topics are important, but until someone connects them directly with the American family they’re all missing it.
No one has yet to recognize that the backbone of a civilization is the family. Until they do, things will continue to miss the boat of the point. The family is the boat, navigating the rapids. And all we hear about is the rapids. We need to talk more about what it is like for families to be experiencing this pandemic from their boats. I'd like the top of the tops on down in every industry to validate what families are going through and demonstrate some level of understanding about what everyday life is for the families in our nation. Families need to know they matter and that they aren’t just statistics. They have faces and stories. They aren’t just polling data to summarize or analyze.
Virtually everything we do in everyday life has a new spin to it. The changes in the way we celebrate, marry and bury affect our daily living and have been glossed over. The new vocabulary words like “let’s set up a Zoom” and “socially distance” just appeared and sat down at our kitchen tables. The new protection regimens add more steps to what we do. The impact the loss of activities such as “going out for dinner”, “movie box office weekends” or “meeting for coffee” haven't been given much of a sincere nod. And I can’t even begin to discuss sports, school calendars or judging others for wearing or not wearing masks. And depending on the nature of each family, the way everyday life unfolds is different. There’s no blanket solution yet all we hear about are just that.
We’re missing it culturally if we can’t work together and embrace the impact COVID19 has on all our families. If the politicians only discuss Green New Deals, the economy or continue to throw dirt balls at the other party -- raise your hand if you think they care about the family? It’s an expensive waste of time and doesn’t solve anything. I’m tired of time being wasted at the expense of our tax dollars. I’m not asking for each and every possible family model be identified or given a certificate of appreciation, but I am asking for foundational recognition of what it might be like to be the people at home trying to manage their everyday lives differently. Answers may not be immediately forthcoming, but acknowledgement goes a long way to re-unifying a very un-unified nation.
