1. How to Wait
Wait their turn. Wait for an activity to occur. Wait for their birthday. Not everything is for them, and not everything is instant. Waiting with a calm attitude is a good step in maturity. Some day, they will be driving and get a red light. We don't need any more road rage episodes. Ever.
2. How to Begin to Process Life OBJECTIVELY
This means to see things from an open perspective - an overview of the situation. Imagine climbing up a step ladder to observe the lay of the land. It is the opposite of using binoculars and having a limited focus. Too few people actually do this - usually we see people operating out of their specific interests or needs. Just because one is gluten-free doesn't mean they can't sit down with someone who isn't. Everything isn't supposed to be just about us.
3. How to Observe - Be Safe
When out in public, we need to be aware of what is happening around us without looking like we are looking around. The unsavory types are watching for people who appear lost, uncertain or distracted. Teach your kids how to walk with purpose, where to put their wallets and how to hold a backpack. We had a family code word I used when I thought we needed to become more alert and pick up the pace. Please teach this calmly and use an upbeat tone. This is "just in case".
4. How to Use Their Manners
Manners? That's a foreign concept in North America now. Just because it's a rarity doesn't mean our kids should skip them. Teach them how to say "Please" and "Thank You" (especially in their jobs as cashiers!!), make eye contact, smile and greet others. Teach them how to walk down the side of a grocery store aisle - not the middle. Introduce them to the phrase "Excuse Me" and to use a quiet speaking voice when in a restaurant. Oh, and please find a table manners tutorial on YouTube. Elbows on the table and fingers doubling as food-shovels are absolute no-no's.
5. How to Own Their Stuff
There is a proper way to care for our belongings and it doesn't include parents. If your child's possessions mean more to you than to them, you will know they don't have the appreciation, much less the comprehension of what it means to own something. Resist the urge to replace an item your child might have been careless with that got ruined. If those beads really mean that much, they should not remain on the dining room table waiting for a magic fairy to pick them up.
6. How to Admit When They Are Wrong
When they make a mistake or do something wrong, our kids need to realize they did and admit it. Then they need to apologize and/or make amends. Don't let them get away with insisting they did not hit their baby brother when you actually saw them in action. A kid that gets away with that won't be a very mature spouse or employee. There's nothing wrong with being wrong - unless you can't admit it.
7. How to Follow God
Hopefully you are praying for them from the womb. If not, it's never too late for either one of you. Attend a church that puts families as the highest priority and has strong kids and youth programs. Regularly pray as a family and live the same on Monday-Saturday as you do on Sunday. They are watching and listening - and not just when you're ready to give a great speech.
8. How to Write a Paragraph Correctly
Thanks to our 140-character social media world, writing complete thoughts with accurate spelling is not a necessity. Penmanship has been replaced by Times New Roman font. Our kids need to know how to organize ideas and create supporting sentences that don't all begin with "The".
9. How to Shop For and Cook Healthy Meals
Use your trips to the grocery store as a means to teach math and logic in addition to healthy food selection. Involve them as you make your list and check for ingredients at home before you go. Have them help you find the best deals and the cereal with the least amount of sugar. Teach them how the store is laid out - explain that most of the healthy items are around the perimeter. Explain why the toys and candy are next to the cashier for a reason: impulse buys for whiny kids.
10. How to Clean
By age 10, your child know how to sort, wash and fold their own laundry including bedding. When you pleasantly explain to your son that if he washes his own sheets he won't have to feel awkward about any nocturnal emissions he will buy in right away. Kids should also know how to fill, empty and run a dishwasher as well as hand wash pots and pans. Counters, floors and mirrors should also be covered and by this age most kids should be fairly competent. Explain why we clean as you teach the how.
