I nearly drove into the ditch while listening to radio shrink Dr. Laura and her caller discussing a child's character. It seems that the young mother wanted to keep her parents and her husband's parents away from their children because they pray and share Bible verses. This woman was deeply offended and believed that all religions are shaming and condemning.
Dr. Laura told her it was her obligation as a parent to instill a sense of purpose and teach her children there was a higher power and a moral authority. Her children needed a moral compass with intentional direction and the best way to approach this would be through a non-denominational church. She coached the caller to start checking out these more contemporary churches and plug in. The caller agreed that her children did indeed need to have a moral compass and wondered if she couldn't find that without church?
I chuckled. The woman wanted the outcome of intentionally raising children with a faith base without making any of the effort that requires.
I want a child with perfect manners, but I'm not gonna teach them what that looks like or why we use them.
I want a child with a great imagination and vocabulary, but I'm never going to let them read one book or see any movies or plays. Forget the computer, too.
The caller was living the life of many who were raised with the kind of God that only finds faults and follows rules at the expense of crushing a soul. She was suspicious and highly offended to the point where she was looking for things to point at and say "aha!!" Yet deep in heart she knew that her children needed to have a sense of purpose, and that purpose ultimately comes from God. She was just so wounded and poorly taught, her personal view had become skewed.
The danger in dragging our children behind our limited perspectives impacts generations. Just look at this caller. Who knows but that a few generations ago, one of her forefathers was earnestly attempting to raise a god-fearing-loving family? Then someone in the mix got their wires crossed or couldn't quite process adequately and boom! There goes one off the grid and negatively impacting their own family. And so on, and so on.
Here's what I would like that confused caller to know:
Dear Caller,
No, you can't raise a moral generation apart from knowing who the Creator and God of Love and Mercy is. Dr. Laura has said she herself does not involve herself in any religion, however
she continuously points her callers to God. She's right. You do have to get out there and visit some of your local neighborhood churches. Many are smaller, meeting in schools or community centers. Their music praises God, but with contemporary bands. If you don't like that idea, there are always the brick and mortar models. Go to each church at least three times before you decide yay or nay. They might be having an off day. Or if your experience was awesome, make sure that too wasn't an anomaly. Be sure to check out what is happening for the kids. If it is just babysitting, leave. You need a church investing in children and who will walk alongside you with materials, links and workshops. Another excellent thing for you to do is to find a nice Bible Study Group for ladies. They come in many forms and are lead by loving mentors who know God's Word and love to help. There you can see what the Bible is really all about, and how to study it. And by digging in you will discover that the God of shame isn't found between those covers. His Word is a story of his love, and his desire to have a relationship with us earthlings, and what he did through Jesus Christ in order to make sure it became everlasting. And be mindful that churches are merely full of other imperfect people. Some do a better job than others at representing God. Your job is to find the one that fits your family and seems to do it less awkwardly than the others. Start your research with a simple prayer asking for direction and start talking to neighbors, baristas and friends. You seek, you will find.
