But a San Francisco school can give them a condom without your knowledge. We are talking about 12 year-olds. Your 12 year-old can't get an aspirin without a doctor's note, but they can march into the nurse's office and get a condom.
All in the name of privacy. Privacy for a kid who burps the alphabet, technically can't watch PG-13 movies and is still a concrete thinker. That's the worst part - not only are their bodies still in development - so are their brains! Studies show us that we are all developing until our mid-20s, but the teen years bring about the most changes most of the time.
A concrete thinker is unable to think in broad, abstract terms. Sure they may get a joke or talk slang, but it doesn't mean they are able to comprehend concepts - much less think very far ahead. How many teens do you know who need to be reminded to call when they arrive at a friend's house? Finish their laundry? Shut the door? They can answer any question you might have about your smart phone, but they have not matured to the point where they should be entangling their bodies and treating their purity as a mere function.
Some early teens may look a bit older. Just remember that is only because they follow celebrities you never heard of on Twitter and Instagram. Their appearance may emulate someone older, but that doesn't mean they understand thing one about maturity. Test this by asking any 15 year-old if they should be allowed to drive. Not only will 99 % say yes, they will ask for a car. Never mind about the purchase price or buying gas. Or the fact that you can't afford to fix yours. See?
By encouraging our kids to participate in events and actions reserved for adults, we are robbing them of the steps they need to take in their maturation process. I know someone who started doing drugs at age 13. He is 55 now. At least in terms of time on Earth. Mentally, he is still a teen boy still looking for the cool party this weekend.
Contraception is pushed on kids so they don't get pregnant. No one talks very seriously about all of the sexually transmitted diseases there are - much less the ones no condom will protect you from. Abortion is advertised as a "family planning" choice option.
Here is what no on one ever talks about. The haunting of memories from exposure to too much too soon. Much like those who do drugs, there are flashback memories of our sexual activity. We really don't get away from something by the passage of time. It happened. It's there. Locked forever in the recesses of our minds.
I like to ask teen clients what they would like to look back on in the future. Are they doing things now they want to remember? Do they want to be proud of how they have lived each step along the way? How many regrets are okay? Of all the thousands of adults I have encountered, not one has ever told me they were proud of their early sexual activity. Not one. Yet our culture normalizes it.
Providing children with condoms is like arming them to participate in war. No one wants guns with kids. Why don't we stand up and help protect our children from undue influences on their precious purity? The amount of development in those first 18 years is tremendous. It sets the stage for the rest of their lives. And as I like to tell kids who are trying to grow up too fast - you're old for a very long time. So take the time to truly be a kid.
Now I need to add a PS to that. Take the time to be a kid in spite of the culture. Parents: you can guide your precious babies through this! Start early and foster a safe home. Pray hard, then pray harder.
