If you are a YouTube fan, you might have already seen the viral video with frustrated father Tommy in his cowboy hat ranting about his ungrateful 15-year old daughter. He ends up dumping 8 hollow point bullets into her laptop to prove his point.
Dr. Laura replayed the audio of his video the other day, then read only the supportive comments. Our Youth Pastor sent out the link plus Tommy's own follow up prior to that. I read parent comments on Tommy's video and commented on the parent page at our church. I LOVE that a dad taking a stand is generating so much buzz! We need more dads who do this - forget about the cigarette or the gun or even the anger. Go dads who stand up!
I sent Tommy a comment (that I doubt he will get to read because he now has so much to peruse online) that I respected him taking a stand, but thought there could be a better way... the reality discipline way. After watching his video, I felt sure that after shooting up his girl's laptop, he would remind her day after day that she used to have a laptop, and had she not been so ungrateful, she still would have one and now she will just have to wait til age 18 to buy her own.
Hey, I am all for kids experiencing the consequence of their behavior and having to endure the waiting period to repurchase a "lost item" or privilege, but I vote NO on reminding them about their losses. Zipping parental lips is the hardest thing to do, and I ought to know, I use 39,000 words/day!
The reality discipline way to do things is to do them, but do them as if you are on valium. The key words are as if.I told Tommy that I might have shot up the laptop (or wanted to), but not let my kid see that part. Surely I agree that it is gone. I would just tell them it was gone because of __________, period. When they have a job and can buy a new one, great.
There is nothing like that agreeable shrug. "Yeah, I would wish I still had a laptop, too." Compare that with, "See?! Now you don't have that laptop anymore!! See?! See???"
Which response would impact a teen for the better?
What is the goal of removing the laptop, anyway? If it is to teach a lesson, then I say remove it by selling it and letting someone else gain the benefit of the new software. The kid can still experience the loss and won't see a dad out on a limb... A limb any parent can certainly understand.
The more I look at and experience parenting scenarios (aka opportunities) the more I believe it is about the less we say.
Remember that adage? Actions speak louder than words. Hey fellow parents, let's let 'em!
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