Technology at Warp Speed

The other day my adult, married daughter texted me from her grandmother's asking if I would teach her how to learn the technology of a typewriter. It seems that grandma had found an old typewriter and had given it to our girl. She laughed and told me she had been trying to use it for 10 minutes, had typed one line that contained four errors and no idea what to do next.

I replied that you either start all over or use the crappy white-out stuff that makes your work look like a bad make-up job. Several LOL's and texts later, she seriously wanted a lesson from me when she visits later this week. When I texted back "imagine writing a 150 page paper on one of those?", she replied that she has a whole new appreciation for me.

I'm valued! I'm valued! I'm truly valued! Being asked to share my expertise of the non-tech days at long last is a parenting milestone.

Sure, I told my then four-year-old girl watching a VIDEO that when I was little, movies were only in movie theaters and you could only see then once unless you paid to watch it again.

I told that same girl that when I was little and you wanted to change the TV channel, you got up and walked across the room to do it.

When DVDs came along ten years later, I told our son that there used to be video tapes that got tangled or stuck in the players.

We were able to pass on big sister's audio tapes to younger brother for about a year until cassette recorders became extinct.

Our son cannot imagine television without DVRs, Netflix or Roku. Every once in awhile just to drag some appreciation out of him, I remind him that when I was little, TV shows were on twice a year. Once when we knew it would be on, and once as a rerun in the summer. If you wanted to watch, you needed to stay home and watch it...or wait all summer and hope.

Don't even get me started on my first shoe-sized cell phone the weight of an anvil, or the pagers all 10-year-olds once used to have before their first phone.

A year ago I heard someone say there is more technology in an iPhone than was in the entire Apollo spacecraft that first landed on the moon!

And now I get to do a tutorial about my long suffering use of a typewriter!! Woot-woot!! I remember the piles of library books and periodicals spread out all over my desk and floor while working on research papers. Today's researcher needs only a laptop and access to Wi-Fi. With software now available, even the weakest paper can at least format well.

Today's student can produce a great-looking product yet have poor content. Yesterday's students got marked down for too many corrections on that old onion skin paper even while having good content.

Technology has made efforts less calorie-burning or milage-requiring and yields impressive formatting. Our challenge as parents and guardians is to continue to hold the bar high and encourage that good ol' true effort. It can be the best of both worlds.

The Perfect Family

This is a picture of the Cleaver family that I have in my office. I keep it as a reminder for two reasons. 1. Nostalgia - I grew up watching the Leave It To Beaver re-runs after school and there aren't too many moral witnesses today. 2. Nothing is perfect - and many people speak against this 1950's family presentation because everything just looked too good.

Perhaps because I grew up without moral coaching and parents overly focused on what our image would look like to others, I can identify in a skewed way with the "picture perfect" Cleaver family. My family really looked good on the outside. The difference is, in the show, the parents were not living for outside opinion and spent time with their kids --- even when the boys went upstairs and spent a lot of time in their room!

Like the Cleaver boys, I too spent a lot of growing up time in my room, but without that parental investment. Wally and Beaver had their own adventures, but they always focused on home and knew their parents were there with family values. Not just because it's what would look good, but because it was the moral thing to do.

Contrast my early experience and blend it with the Cleavers and you get a picture of my family now. While my family of origin lived for achievement, acquisition and public opinion, my family now lives to love God and others. We do not focus on ourselves nor do we care how we look to others. We do our best and leave it there.

My kids and their friends freely hang out with us and while they do retreat to their rooms, they know they are always invited to join us and that they do. Our focus on what things will look like to others centers around representing God well. We embrace the idea that we are who we are and chuckle that no one will always agree with what we do, look like or say. If our intent is God-focused, then so be it.

We don't have a custom home, name-brand car or a story to tell socially about our latest trip or purchase. No designer furniture or clothes or name-dropping here. In that respect, I am probably a huge disappointment to my parents. Funny thing, along the way I have met a range of people including corporate CEOs, artists, brilliant thinkers and talented leaders and creative ones. The only difference is that none of us exist to impress others and we all have experienced great connections as we value one another.

Gotta love honoring that ol' dignity!

Lowering the Bar

Did you hear about the Florida school with the poor test scores? They decided to change the grading system so that scores would look better. Talk about lowering the bar! What if they accepted the scores and worked for future improvement with the students?

Sadly, most of our culture seems to cater to a weaker standard rather than have the courage to stand up for excellence. It is okay to be great at something, but today's kids get the message that everyone is equal in every way.

Yes, everyone is equal in the eyes of God. He loves us all the same. Amazing... but that's another blog. However, we are not all equally gifted, and that is not only a fact, it must be accepted by parents and kids. Some are math geniuses or Olympians. Some are scholars or cutting-edge inventors. Some are artists or chefs. Etc...

I believe there is something special that each person can bring to the table, but we are not all equally skilled or talented. (Ask me to run and you'll have a perfect example. Just kindly laugh underneath the paper bag that had better be on your head.)

A "certificate of participation" is a waste of paper, but a certificate underscoring work over and above expectations is valuable. A trophy for everyone? OK in kindergarten. Not keeping score so that everyone feels good? Devaluing. Does everyone get a scholarship or win a Pulitzer?

The sooner we teach our kids the real story in the face of our culture, the better off they will be. Don't you want them to come home and tell you the beautiful certificate in their backpack was given to everyone and to throw it away? I do. I also want my kids to know when they have really excelled.

In a world that is constantly lowering the bar so that "everyone feels special", I am a rebel. Standards should not be on a sliding scale based upon the audience. They should be constant and measurable. I don't want an "A" because I am a tall Norwegian, I want an "A" because I earned it.

It's Called C-H-A-R-A-C-T-E-R

This week The Barna Group released its top five factors Americans will consider this November when casting their vote for president. I was happy to see that among the various demographic categories (evangelical, mainline, unbelieving) character matters. It's the number two factor right behind where the candidates stand on the issues.

A few weeks ago, a former 2008 presidential candidate's trial began. He is accused of misappropriating campaign funds to hide his pregnant mistress from his dying wife. If the prosecutors have their way, he will end up in prison for several decades. The pundits argue that if he had no knowledge of how funds were disbursed, then the fact that the funds were used to keep his adultery a secret doesn't stand up. Being callous toward his ill wife is no one's business, and not a factor in this case. What he does in his personal life is completely separate from his public life.

The answer I yelled at the TV was:"It's called CHARACTER, people!!" Character is not something we put on and take off like a pair of shoes. It's not something we choose to do sometimes and choose not to do at others. Character is intricately entwined with who we are. If we cheat, we cheat. It does not matter where. It means we are a cheater. If we lie, we are liars. If we are only nice in public and horrible to our loved ones in private, we are frauds.

Noah Webster's 1828 Dictionary defines character as follows:"The peculiar qualities, impressed by nature or habit on a person, which distinguish him from others; these constitute real character, and the qualities which he is supposed to possess, constitute his estimated character or reputation. Hence we say, a character is not formed, when the person has not acquired stable and distinctive qualities."

Parents have 18 years with their kids. The first 8 to teach and guide, the next 10 to coach and influence. Everything we do models life for them, whether we intend it as an educational moment or not. What do our kids think when they see us litter? Belittle a sales clerk? Scream at another driver? What do our kids think when they see us bringing dinner to someone or volunteering? Our choices matter. Little eyes and big ears are right there 24/7.

Don't you wonder what kind of messages that 2008 candidate got while he was growing up? That certain things are okay if it means you get your way? I wonder what messages his children (all of them) are getting today.

Sorry pundits, it does matter that a husband honors his wife. His wife remained gracious and dignified when this story exploded and in my opinion, died a woman of honor. Now that's character.

How Do You Get One of Those?

That's the question I asked a much older father in the church I was attending when my daughter was four. I had seen how he and his wife interacted and volunteered, and more impressively - how their two college aged kids engaged and behaved at church functions.

The older kids impressed me by their humor and grace, ability to communicate with people of all ages and their quiet faith. They volunteered when they could, where they could and I considered them solid young adults. I wanted one like that in about 18 years, so I asked their dad.

He gave me a big smile and one of those comforting, knowing twinkles that contained the wisdom of the ages without any pride and said that was the goal he and their mother had. "We just claimed Scripture about leaders over our kids." I wasn't sure what that meant, but I sure wanted to try that!

They had used two sections out of the New Testament (1 Timothy 3:1 - 7 and Titus 1:6 - 9) addressed to church elders or overseers and personalized them with their son and daughter's names in place of nouns. These verses were prayed every day for each child since the kids were small. The verses mention character traits such as honesty, purity and self-control. Whether or not my girl (and son yet to be born) became some kind of leader any where, I surely agreed with the traits in the verses. So I've been praying them ('claiming them') for my kids ever since.

This father's comment has inspired me to comb the Bible for other verses to pray for my family, friends and others over the years. I love to encourage young families to seek out verses and pray them over and over. What a great idea to pray God's Word back to him.