Lowering the Bar

Did you hear about the Florida school with the poor test scores? They decided to change the grading system so that scores would look better. Talk about lowering the bar! What if they accepted the scores and worked for future improvement with the students?

Sadly, most of our culture seems to cater to a weaker standard rather than have the courage to stand up for excellence. It is okay to be great at something, but today's kids get the message that everyone is equal in every way.

Yes, everyone is equal in the eyes of God. He loves us all the same. Amazing... but that's another blog. However, we are not all equally gifted, and that is not only a fact, it must be accepted by parents and kids. Some are math geniuses or Olympians. Some are scholars or cutting-edge inventors. Some are artists or chefs. Etc...

I believe there is something special that each person can bring to the table, but we are not all equally skilled or talented. (Ask me to run and you'll have a perfect example. Just kindly laugh underneath the paper bag that had better be on your head.)

A "certificate of participation" is a waste of paper, but a certificate underscoring work over and above expectations is valuable. A trophy for everyone? OK in kindergarten. Not keeping score so that everyone feels good? Devaluing. Does everyone get a scholarship or win a Pulitzer?

The sooner we teach our kids the real story in the face of our culture, the better off they will be. Don't you want them to come home and tell you the beautiful certificate in their backpack was given to everyone and to throw it away? I do. I also want my kids to know when they have really excelled.

In a world that is constantly lowering the bar so that "everyone feels special", I am a rebel. Standards should not be on a sliding scale based upon the audience. They should be constant and measurable. I don't want an "A" because I am a tall Norwegian, I want an "A" because I earned it.

Extreme Kid Pampering

One day when I turned on the TV for whatever reason it was set to the “Tyra Banks Show.” Don’t know how or why but before I could click over to an “Everybody Loves Ray” rerun, I learned that her topic was Americans pampering their pre-teens to the tune of 20 million a year!

We’re talking facials, massages, pedi’s and mani’s. There are even chains of stores now marketing to parents who want “the best” for their children! Transfixed, I watched in dismay as Tyra Banks interviewed half a dozen proud parents for this episode. Some actually spent over $80K/year on pampering in order to keep their kids “happy”! The pampering began as early as age 2 and these groomed kids used their limited vocabularies to state how much they liked going to the kid spa because it was “fun” and “nice”.

ACK!

Producing a happy child was the goal for each parent. A delighted and well-manicured child sat next to the bragging parent bobbing their head in agreement that they wanted to look good. No child was over the age of 11. All were glad to be on TV.

Did I mention how many middle class annual incomes these well to do families wasted in the interest of giving their children the “physical advantage” of appearance?? One mother bragged that she would not let her 6 year old out of the house with chipped nail polish b/c it would reflect her poor parenting. She even taught her 9 year old son to deserve massages and opened her own kiddie spa because she saw the need.

ACK AGAIN!

What has happened to instilling value in what our children contribute to society? And in these economic times, to see so many adults cavalierly spending more that our family earns just so the kids look and feel good is beyond me.

When these pampered kids reach adult land, will they ever own their own behaviors? Will they ever care about the needs of others beyond self?

This is a perfect example of the immense responsibility a parent has to lay a foundation that will impact multitudes of generations.

Please don’t focus on the fleeting externals…