The Proverbs 31 Woman

Ever heard about this amazing woman? You can read about her in most of chapter 31 in book of Proverbs in the Bible. There we read incredible character traits to aim for. They are pretty lofty, but inspiring. I love the one about her being a prudent business woman in addition to nobley nurturing her family. Check out a few verses:

10 [b]Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
bringing her food from afar.

And

16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker.
18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night.
19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
her fingers twisting fiber.
20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy.

And

22 She makes her own bedspreads.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders.
24 She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.

I wanted to teach my little girl these wonderful attributes. How a woman can be both a leader and a supporter, wise and trusting. How central she is to her family, and how far-reaching her influence was. One of the things I found to help me teach this was a lovely children's book called When I'm a Mommy, by Ginger Fulton. It was charmingly illustrated and communicated the Proverbs examples in contemporary language with simple language perfect for a preschooler.

We nestled together on the couch to read our new book. She eagerly listened and absorbed each illustration with wide eyes. I loved reading with her in my arms when I could look at her profile and see those sweet cheeks and rosebud lips focused on the pages. Soon we came to the part paraphrasing verse 15: "She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls."

Somberly, my four-year-old turned and looked up into my eyes. "Well, you're not a Proverbs 31 Mommy because you don't get up that early."

Okay, so I like to sleep in. These verses are still worth some refreshed inspiration!

Teaching Children to Pray

One of the most important things we can do as adults or youth investing in the lives of children is to teach them how to pray. We are not always with them, as much as we think we are, or that they are being properly supervised. We certainly do not know how they are processing an experience. If we can teach them to talk and listen to God, they will be able to receive peace and comfort precisely when they need it.

Growing up, we recited a generationally mutilated Norwegian prayer before meals. It had gotten so mispronounced by my ancestors that by the time I was in college and some Norwegian exchange students heard us “pray”, they looked blankly at us. We had not learned to thank God for his provision and truly mean it.

On Sharing Day in Kindergarten, I brought my big teddy bear. He became my tearful comfort on the bus ride home when I failed to get off at my stop and spent hours cowering in the bus thinking I would never see my family again. How wonderful if I had already understood that I could truly talk to God and share my fears?

A few years ago I was encouraging an adult relative to pray about something. He scoffed that he didn’t bother God with small stuff. I told him I even prayed for new underwear.

The picture above is used by permission from the four Kindergarten families. The Sunday School teacher had just asked the class to pray. Look at the different responses. Just before I took the picture, the boy lifting his shirt had briefly bowed his head and then kept on moving. Four different boys, four different reactions, four different prayers – each one as valuable as the next. That’s why I treasure this picture.

We are all so different, and each one of us is cherished by God as if we were his one and only child. Our temperaments and characters matter. Our thoughts and feelings matter. When I teach children to pray, I try to communicate this. There is no one “correct” way to pray. I was once asked by a fellow Bible study participant if the prayers I prayed while driving counted – because I could not shut my eyes.

Prayer is simply talking and listening to God. For young children, they start by learning to talk. They address God, say something, then end it. I keep it very short. “Dear God, thank you for the rain, amen.” “Dear God, please help my brother, amen.” “Dear God, I love you, amen.” Amen simply means “so be it”. So kids could actually say “Dear God, thank you for loving us, so be it.”

A great thing to teach kids about praying is to pray God’s Word right back to him. That way they learn to memorize Bible verses. They can say these verses any time they want. I taught my girl to memorize verses beginning at the age of two. She could learn them faster than me! I also taught her what they meant, so she was not merely reciting words. During a traumatic divorce and under great fear while spending court-ordered time with her birth father, she recited Psalm 37:4 over and over one night until she fell asleep.

As our kids grow, they can learn the listening part of prayer. How it takes many forms. Sometimes all I can say is “God help”. They can learn to sing, write or dance their prayers and that it is all called Worship. They can learn how important it is to pray for others we don’t even know. (That will be another blog.) But for now, if they can learn some simple thank-yous and requests, they are on their way.

By modeling simple prayer, our children can learn that prayer is one way we connect with God. It is not about us. It is not about the longest words or the poetic voice. It is not a lecture. It is between us and God. It can be out loud. It can be silent. There is nothing God doesn’t want to hear about from us. If he loves every hair on our head, he cares about our underwear, too.

So be it.

How Do You Get One of Those?

That's the question I asked a much older father in the church I was attending when my daughter was four. I had seen how he and his wife interacted and volunteered, and more impressively - how their two college aged kids engaged and behaved at church functions.

The older kids impressed me by their humor and grace, ability to communicate with people of all ages and their quiet faith. They volunteered when they could, where they could and I considered them solid young adults. I wanted one like that in about 18 years, so I asked their dad.

He gave me a big smile and one of those comforting, knowing twinkles that contained the wisdom of the ages without any pride and said that was the goal he and their mother had. "We just claimed Scripture about leaders over our kids." I wasn't sure what that meant, but I sure wanted to try that!

They had used two sections out of the New Testament (1 Timothy 3:1 - 7 and Titus 1:6 - 9) addressed to church elders or overseers and personalized them with their son and daughter's names in place of nouns. These verses were prayed every day for each child since the kids were small. The verses mention character traits such as honesty, purity and self-control. Whether or not my girl (and son yet to be born) became some kind of leader any where, I surely agreed with the traits in the verses. So I've been praying them ('claiming them') for my kids ever since.

This father's comment has inspired me to comb the Bible for other verses to pray for my family, friends and others over the years. I love to encourage young families to seek out verses and pray them over and over. What a great idea to pray God's Word back to him.