Someone recently reposted a Parents Magazine article entitled "25 Manners Your Child Should Learn By Age 9" on Facebook. It was a pretty good list and covered lots of once-common but now altogether too-rare courtesies. Saying "please" and "thank you" and sitting still during a boring recital were a couple. The entire list could be summarized by teaching children to respect other people. That being said, here are a few more from me to add to the list.
- In North America, when walking somewhere in public - the street, Target, the mall - stay on the right side of the road/aisle/hall. If you are walking in a group, pair up and do not take over the entire sidewalk. If you need to pass slower walkers, politely step up your pace. Do not act as if they were a car and "ride their bumper."
- If you see someone you know as you are getting off an escalator or exiting an elevator or are in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store, do not stop and block the other passengers/shoppers in order to have your reunion. Move aside so that others can pass before you begin reminscing.
- Do not eat in front of guests unless you plan to feed them, too. If you don't have enough to offer them, wait until later or change to something you can share.
- When you are standing in line with other people, be mindful of their body space. Imagine a bubble the size of a hula hoop and stand that far behind them. If you can see inside someone else's wallet, you are too close.
- It never hurts to ask "what else can I do?" when cleaning up. If this carries over to your first job, you will be considered a more valuable employee.
- Along the cleaning lines - if you are going into another room, see what you can take with you. Don't go empty-handed. Even if it isn't something you left out, it is going to help the household get organized. After all, parents are always putting stuff they didn't use back where it belongs.
- Never leave someone else stranded on the toilet without toilet paper. If you can see that the roll is getting low, place another roll next to it before you leave. If you take the last piece of paper, toss away the empty roll and put another one on the roller.
- Shake hands and look the person in the eye. A nice grip and one shake will do it. Say hello and introduce yourself. If you already know them, ask them how they are or tell them it is good to see them again.
- If you are in a bad mood, don't take it out on other people in public. Be polite to them - they haven't done anything. If they talk to you, look them in the eye and respond kindly. Your bad mood is not an excuse to treat another human poorly. This will become really important when you get your driver's license.
- It is never okay to hurt another person or creature, verbally or physically. If you see this going on, tell them to knock it off. Get an adult if necessary. Keeping quiet when you see something like this is like saying you agree with it. Use your voice.
- If you are talking to one person and someone you know walks up to join you, introduce them to your friend. Don't let someone stand there not knowing someone else. It is rude to leave the other person out. Also, don't talk about an event in front of someone if they weren't there or weren't invited. That is not only rude, it is hurtful.
- Put things back where you found them, then they will be there the next time you need them. If it does not belong to you and you have permission to use it, take excellent care of it and be prepared to replace it, otherwise don't use it. Wherever you are, treat things carefully. Just because the church crayons don't belong to you is no reason to break or throw them.
- If someone is mean to you, do not bother to be mean back to them. Then you are acting just like them instead of yourself. Don't let the way anyone behaves stop you from being who you are. When you are an adult and do more shopping you will run into a lot of grouchy cashiers that you can practice on.
- When you are out with your friends, be careful not to get so loud that other people can't enjoy themselves. You aren't the only ones using the space. Keep your volume down and don't take over. Also, take your trash to the garbage can - don't leave a mess where you were sitting. Just because your parents aren't sitting next to you doesn't mean you stop being polite.
- Remember that no person is more special than another. Just because you don't know their name does not mean they don't matter. Treat each person with value no matter what they look or smell like. The cool kids really aren't that cool - they are just other kids. No one is more important than another - they may make more goals or get good grades or have the newest iPad - but they aren't any better or worse. If you keep this in mind, you will save yourself a lot of high school drama and become a good neighbor one day. Sadly, this is one manner many adults fail at. Decide ahead of time to value all people.
These are all things that adults can work on, too. Just remember, you aren't the only person on the planet. That's a good thing.
