Lunch With a Drill Sergeant

It's just a couple days before Christmas and I stopped to pick up some stocking stuffferes and meet a friend for a mocha. Thank you, Target for having Starbucks. I am not a fan of having to share the cafe with all the pizza from the food area but this will do in a pinch.

I picked a table off to the side and manoevered my cart through empty, salty tables. Just as I sat down, five little kids clad in warm winter wear clamored their way near my table. "Let's get this one!" cried the oldest (all of maybe seven). The others followed his lead, dragging chairs and settling in behind me til the dad appeared.

Apparently they are waiting for some hot food to be prepared to complete the meal and he only brought their sodas. "Don't throw it on the floor!" Scolded dad.

Scuffling chair scraping.

"I spilled my pop. I spilled my pop. I spilled my pop." Chirped a little one while dad was giving seating directions.

"Where is our food???" "We just ordered, they're making it."

"Sit on your butt."

"Butt, butt."

"Stop it."

"Take your jacket off."

"Stop it."

"You eat your sauce."

"Don't touch."

"Chew it."

"Be nice."

When dad left them again presumabley to get the food, an arguement erupted as the same brother told to be nice began ordering a little sister to "get off my world" over and over. "No! No!"shrieked little sister as she clenched a handheld game. "Get OFF my world!"

Dad came back and began to negotiate. "Stop talking or I'll put you bed. How bout this? She's not in your world." His was not confident and by his tone you could tell he cajoled often. When the kids disagreed with his world-deal, he began, "honey, honey" trying to quell emotions.

The rest of their meal was accompanied by kid whines and more parental pleads.

Across the seating area at the counter in front of me I hear:

"I don't know, I just know I didn't do it." Giggled another child sitting next to her father.  He only had three kids with him and was laid-back and grinning. I watched him tenderly sweep hair off the face of one of his girls and tell them what they were going to go get mom after this. He followed by asking open questions that all three piped up to answer. They were conversing. Not once did he 'have' to tell his wigglers to do a thing. Yes they were spinning on the stools as they ate, but wouldn't you if you were eight? They statyed put and were fully engaged with their father.

Okay, so the gang of five had more little people but this illustrates two parenting extremes. (Right next to my quiet table.) One parent reacted and lacked authority in his kids' eyes. The other parent guided the activity and had full authority. His used his position confidently but loosely. The other one merely threw out commands hoping they'd stick. The kids at his table were not having fun, they were merely being herded. The other kids were giggling and enjoying some time with dad.

Two fathers. Two extremes. Which one's kids are going to have a fond memory about the day they went Christmas shopping with dad and stopped for lunch?