What Toys Do My Kids Really Need?

There's a reason why IKEA stores are so attractive. If you don't have one near you, go online. The room settings are simple, with plenty of open space. There's no clutter and there are asthetically pleasing containers and hooks to store everything for every room in your home. IKEA gets it. Too much stuff not only makes a mess, it causes silent stress. You see a pile and unconsciously think about getting around to tackling it. You see open space on your coffee table and you smile.

My point is that kids don't need as much stuff as the commercials - or they - tell you. Pick a few categories and be sure you have something in each one. Avoid the dollar stores unless you have a bin for plastic junk. They don't need every video game. Or latest video. With technology you can watch most movies or TV shows on the internet for a small subscription.

What categories do I reccommend?

- Something to encourage large motor skills

• Large Ball
• Bike, Scooteer or Roller Blades
• Jump Rope

- Something to encourage creativity

• Legos! Legos! Legos!

- Something to develop reading skills

• Library picture books (add chapter books by first grade)
• Reading Apps downloaded on your tablet
• Read daily to your child aloud (free)

- Something to encourage their art (my favorite is a tackle box containing the following):

• Crayons, colored markers, colored pencils
• Craft scissors
• Glue Stick or Glue Dots
• Scotch Tape
• Paper punches

- Something to encorage logical thinking:

• Checkers (and Chess) board game
• Knex and Imaginex building kits
• Circuit Board or robotic sets
• Puzzles
• Maze books, Word Finds, Crossword puzzles

-Something to inspire imaginative play

• Large moving or appliance box ro decorate
• Puppets (you can make them out of old tube socks)
• Varitey of costume pieces, hats, masks
• Dolls or action figures
• Toy trucks, cars or boats
• Plastic animals (we had dinosaurs)

Make sure you have something from each category - especially covering areas you are weak in. Just because I didn't know how to play ball didn't stop me from getting one for my kids. Don't skip on books even if you aren't the best reader. Put yourself away and focus on your child's need to develop into a well-rounded person.

As they continue to grow, you will notice the things they really enjoy and you can expand that category. By the same token, you may notice that item that is never played with so you don't need to add another one. I always kept coloring books and blank paper near the art box. My girl loved creating her own art. Our son was more interested in how many stickers he could fit on a page.

Christmas does not have to go on your credit card, and it doesn't need to be a sea of trendy beeping things that do all the playing for your kids. Toys are supposed to encourage imagination. That's why I love my list.

Happy Shopping!

Top Ten Social Skills I Wish Every Parent Would Teach Their Kids

10. How not to interrupt; either when a parent is on the phone, or when the parent is conversing in person (unless of course, the house is on fire)

9. How to complete a task without needing affirmation for each step (that also limits unnecessary phone calls, texts, interruptions)

8. How to treat ALL adults politely - teachers, other parents, coaches, etc.

7. How to greet people of all ages by making eye contact and using words, not grunts - crack a smile, even...

6. How to host more than one friend at your home and treat each with kindness (and share appropriately with inclusivity)

5. How to behave in public - no top of the escalator reunions, no screaming in the grocery store cart, no standing in the middle of an aisle

4. How to eat politely, and where to put the dishes - or at least how to offer to clear the table

3. How to hold the door open for the person behind you, especially if they are pushing a stroller of have their arms full

2. How to walk to the right in North America! This includes sidewalks, stores... and if you are walking in a pack, leave room for others coming the other way

1. How to say PLEASE and THANK YOU!! (This seems to be a lost art... when we buy something at Target, we're told "Here you go" or "Have a nice day". We just spent some hard-earned $, where did the "Thank-you" go? What about teaching our kids to say thank-you to the lunch lady at school? The bus driver? Their teacher? Their Sunday School teacher?)

"You Can Do Anything"

After being raised by a loving mommie and becoming one myself, repeating her mantra... that myth got busted a few days ago.

We really can't do everything!

OK, I admit that my mom's positive support enabled me to get through some difficult school years and although internally I knew I would never be an astronaut or learn to cartwheel, truly appreciated her words. This blessed me and I continued this mantra with my own diff-gen babies. Isn't it wonderful to have a parent think you are so special???

Come to find out during a staff exercise the other day... this message really isn't accurate.

Oooopsie!

We were all going through our Strength Finders 2.0 scores. Everyone has 5 top strengths (out of 34). As we reviewed our strengths, different quotes were shared. This is the one that busted my mom's myth-speak:

"You can be any thing...NO! But we can be more of who we already are..." per Carl Liesveld. (My summary)

I've learned we all have strengths (and duh, weaknesses). Rather than tell kids they can do ANYTHING, what if we tell them they can do anything in their area of giftedness? And help them define what that area is?

Then we won't have any pathetic try-outs on American Idol, but we will have a whole bunch of kids affirmed, supported and confident!

Thank you Mommie, for what you said and when you said it...

Free Range Kids

While driving, I heard an author of an exciting new book interviewed on the radio. I admit I only heard about 8 minutes minus the ads.

The author advocated letting today’s kids run around all day long with the freedoms from the “safe sixties”. She cited several studies that proved her correct.

As I listened, I clenched the steering wheel. NOOOOO!

It wasn’t that great that my parents trusted me to disappear for half a day then, and it isn’t good at all today. Parents MUST KNOW where there children are at all times, forget statistics.

I can remember playing in the woods at age 12 just a mile from our home. My friend and I heard an unsettling rustling and rode our bikes away with our neck hairs standing on end. Articulate as I was and as close as I was to my mother, it did not occur to me to ever tell her of our “scare”.

For this author to advocate kids without adult interaction and to “trust” them is insidious. The older kids are, the more they need a parent there to listen and download.

Free range chicken – I’m for ‘em!

Free range kids – not at all.

Kid For Sale

Ever heard this? I hear it a lot even from strangers. If I’m in Starbucks and a mom with a cartful of toddlers comes by and I comment on something they’re doing or how cute they’re acting, a common reply is “Yeah, wanna buy one?” My reply is always a big smile as I tell her I couldn’t afford it. Then I say hi to the kids.

As the mom pushes the hair out of her face and answers me, the kids are listening. They are hanging on the cart and paying complete attention. I see their eyes wide with interest as they process how life happens. And I wince that they heard their mother offer one of them up to a stranger, no matter how light-hearted she sounded.

The other comment I hear often is, “Ohhhh I can’t wait for school to start so I can get rid of the kids, this has been a long summer.”

Again, ouch.

It’s said in front of the children. What do you think they think about be referred to as a nuisance? (In another blog I’ll discuss the school’s influence on our kids.)

I don’t have a memory of my mother offering to get rid of me, although I know there were days when she needed a break. My memories are all of being wanted and valued, and that’s what my kids had better say about me – grrrrr. I miss my kids when they are at school, even if I’m doing something fun. I miss my adult daughter now, and her brother just because.