Teaching Children to Pray

One of the most important things we can do as adults or youth investing in the lives of children is to teach them how to pray. We are not always with them, as much as we think we are, or that they are being properly supervised. We certainly do not know how they are processing an experience. If we can teach them to talk and listen to God, they will be able to receive peace and comfort precisely when they need it.

Growing up, we recited a generationally mutilated Norwegian prayer before meals. It had gotten so mispronounced by my ancestors that by the time I was in college and some Norwegian exchange students heard us “pray”, they looked blankly at us. We had not learned to thank God for his provision and truly mean it.

On Sharing Day in Kindergarten, I brought my big teddy bear. He became my tearful comfort on the bus ride home when I failed to get off at my stop and spent hours cowering in the bus thinking I would never see my family again. How wonderful if I had already understood that I could truly talk to God and share my fears?

A few years ago I was encouraging an adult relative to pray about something. He scoffed that he didn’t bother God with small stuff. I told him I even prayed for new underwear.

The picture above is used by permission from the four Kindergarten families. The Sunday School teacher had just asked the class to pray. Look at the different responses. Just before I took the picture, the boy lifting his shirt had briefly bowed his head and then kept on moving. Four different boys, four different reactions, four different prayers – each one as valuable as the next. That’s why I treasure this picture.

We are all so different, and each one of us is cherished by God as if we were his one and only child. Our temperaments and characters matter. Our thoughts and feelings matter. When I teach children to pray, I try to communicate this. There is no one “correct” way to pray. I was once asked by a fellow Bible study participant if the prayers I prayed while driving counted – because I could not shut my eyes.

Prayer is simply talking and listening to God. For young children, they start by learning to talk. They address God, say something, then end it. I keep it very short. “Dear God, thank you for the rain, amen.” “Dear God, please help my brother, amen.” “Dear God, I love you, amen.” Amen simply means “so be it”. So kids could actually say “Dear God, thank you for loving us, so be it.”

A great thing to teach kids about praying is to pray God’s Word right back to him. That way they learn to memorize Bible verses. They can say these verses any time they want. I taught my girl to memorize verses beginning at the age of two. She could learn them faster than me! I also taught her what they meant, so she was not merely reciting words. During a traumatic divorce and under great fear while spending court-ordered time with her birth father, she recited Psalm 37:4 over and over one night until she fell asleep.

As our kids grow, they can learn the listening part of prayer. How it takes many forms. Sometimes all I can say is “God help”. They can learn to sing, write or dance their prayers and that it is all called Worship. They can learn how important it is to pray for others we don’t even know. (That will be another blog.) But for now, if they can learn some simple thank-yous and requests, they are on their way.

By modeling simple prayer, our children can learn that prayer is one way we connect with God. It is not about us. It is not about the longest words or the poetic voice. It is not a lecture. It is between us and God. It can be out loud. It can be silent. There is nothing God doesn’t want to hear about from us. If he loves every hair on our head, he cares about our underwear, too.

So be it.