Tears For Their Choices

Have you ever cried about the choices your child has made? When they are little, it can be when they hit another kid, were rude to an adult or stole from the grocery store. (Both mine were guilty of this before age 4.)

That’s not what I’m talking about today. I’m talking beyond the snotty junior high friend, the rebellious attitude that lasted semesters, and family disrespect.

I’m talking about the reality that your legal adult has appeared to let all your earnest teaching roll off their back like a duck. Everything you have sacrificed and done appears to make no difference in their life choices. Now it truly matters who they befriend and what they put into their minds and bodies and they are doing most of it where you can’t see, much less supervise.

It’s like your hands are tied as you silently scream in horror that the baby you once held in your arms and so carefully parented all this time is disappearing into someone you do not recognize… much less approve of… or even like.

Why don’t they seem to care about their family? Why do their friends plan for college or get jobs and your child is content with part time success? Don’t they notice the glaring gap between NASA and McDonalds? And bleep-it why don’t they see how good they’ve had it and how much they are turning away from?

Certain milestones should be occasions for celebration, but the balloons might look slightly deflated depending on what it took emotionally for you pull that off.

If this resonates with you, you probably know more than most parents how precious and fleeting your years of influence truly are. And, just because all the other kids look like they are following a decent life plan doesn’t mean they will continue, or even know what they are doing. It just looks good and more importantly, it just isn’t what your child is choosing.

Right now I am aching for a family who is launching their young adult into his first apartment – and not for happy reasons. Their child crossed the final line and was told to live somewhere else. I applaud their tough decision – way more difficult that selling a car out from under them! These parents honored their rules and words, and loved their kid enough to be firm in a big way.

I believe one day he will come to appreciate their care and investment, and respect them. I have seen others who tumble into adulthood and shake all the wrinkles out a few years later. I pray that this is another one like that, and in the meantime – that the parents have peace.