Our honorary daughter's (so close she’s like our own) husband used to fly Marine One for a recent president. He was the guy at the helm to fly the president in the fancy-dan helicopter wherever and whenever he was asked.
This man is brave, well-trained, responsible and honorable. He respects authority and is so trustworthy the leader of the free world placed his life in his hands. Talk about the ultimate trust! (I don’t know if I can even trust someone standing behind me to catch me, and all that would mean is I land on the floor a few inches lower.) Honorary Girl’s husband displays the character of one so well-equipped he has now gone on to literally train another nation's military in fancy-dan helicopter maintenance.
When we talk about helicopter parents, it refers to parents who hover over their children for any and every reason. It may be the selection of a sock or outfit, it may be to set up their homework for them or burrow through their backpacks. It may be to coach them in their sport, even if they actually have a coach. It could be to intervene with their friendships or fill out a job application... or my personal favorite; drive an 11th grader’s forgotten lunch to school.
Characteristics of a helicopter parent include anxiety, perfectionism and most telling is how easily interruptible they are by their children. Legitimate emergencies aside, if you do not feel compelled to immediately take cell calls during a coffee date with a friend (or make them) or stop adult conversation in person to turn and pay attention instead to your offspring tugging at your sleeve, you are probably not a helicopter parent. If you do not have the need to insist your children perform precisely the way you insist in negotiable areas, you are probably not a helicopter parent. If you can go about your day without stress while knowing full well your child did not brush their hair (or teeth), you are probably not a helicopter parent. If you can go to sleep at night even if your child wore his clothes to bed, you are probably not a helicopter parent. If you do not do your child's homework or make excuses for them, you are not a helicopter parent.
If Honorary Girl’s hubby had been hovered over while growing up, he could literally not have become man enough, brave enough or confident enough to fly the leader of the free world around in a real helicopter.
Remember, real helicopters only hover when they are landing and taking off. Otherwise they are on a designated mission. If all they did was hover, they wouldn’t go anywhere. They’d just kick up a lot of dust.
If all we did as parents is hover, we are the ones who kick up a lot of dust. Our children won’t really go anywhere, either. They will remain dependent upon us for all their decisions. We will have fostered self-doubt and cancelled out their chance to sit at the helm of Marine One. I choose the brave one who thinks for himself and can be trusted to the nth degree!
