A hot news topic the past few days is the charge that stay-at-home mom Ann Romney "has never worked a day in her life." The message implied was that Ann could thus not have any meaningful input about what is happening economically because she hadn't really done much with her life. The media has jumped on this and all sorts of facts, figures and responses are popping up everywhere.
I am happy that a passing comment has generated so much publicity about motherhood and is bringing attention to both stay-at-home moms and those moms who work outside the home. This is great fodder for a fun discussion over your favorite Starbucks coffee.
For years, conflicting messages have been presented in our North American culture. Throw some church viewpoints in there and it is either a sin for a mom to work outside the home or that moms who do not work outside the home are somehow lesser than those out there "using their brains".
While I was growing up, my mother did not work outside the home. But she was the family project manager, gourmet chef, counselor, girl friend to my father, volunteer, hostess, financier, decorator and friend. She spent hours every day after school assisting my younger brother with his school work and volunteered in the school library. My mom was a vital woman who enjoyed a full life and became a painter and artist. When I was in high school, she began a second career in real estate before anyone's mom was doing it. When I was in college, the "phase II" of her life with grown kids was cut short when she died of cancer.
I have been both a stay-at-home mama and a working mama. When my daughter was young, I had to work and it was very painful to leave her at daycare. I would skip lunch in order to get to her as soon as possible and spend the rest of the evening with my precious lamb. At one point I was able to rearrange my work schedule to get home right when the bus dropped her off at 3:10. For people who know that I am not a morning fan at all, they will gulp to learn I got up at 5:30 every day for her.
When our son was just 18 months old, I became a children's pastor out of passion for children and families. This isn't a job, it is an extension of my soul... but it does mean I was still a working mother. I have been blessed to serve at churches under senior leadership that has allowed me to organize my work schedule around my family. This has allowed me to be there first for my family and be the best children's pastor possible. We have been fortunate that I have had a position and the support that has allowed me to do what I love while loving and being there for my family. When our now nine-foot-tall son was just a preschooler, he used to refer to my office at church as "our office". Ohhh did that make my heart sing and affirmed that he knew his place in my life!
Every stay-at-home mother I have ever had the privilege to know has my complete admiration. Many of them have temporarily retired from high powered positions. All of them dive into their family life with high energy. They work hard to make sure to provide multitudes of experiences and learning opportunities for their children. Some of these moms are also the educators of their kids. Some of these moms send their kids to school. Either way, they all ensure that their children understand what was taught each day. They are creative, on-going learners who are the rudders of their families.
I have been meeting more and more moms who have developed side jobs or hobbies that have become a source of income, all while putting their families first. That means they get less sleep in order to do this after the kids go to bed, or play tag team if there's a dad around to be sure one parent is always there for the kids.
The working moms I have met that do not have the flexibility in the schedules that I have had and are gone during traditional business hours each day really have it tough. That's my humble opinion. They have to look professional earlier in the day while toting kid gear and kids to an early morning daycare, head off to work where they need to focus for x number of consecutive hours. Before they can go straight home, often they are also the parent who picks up the kids from daycare/after school programs. When they come home for the night, they are still needed and responsible for nurturing and encouraging their families.
There is not one woman I have ever met who is "less than" or "more than" any other woman because she does or does not work outside the home. Mothers are awesome! You don't need a paying job to be valued or have important input and insights. And, I'll just throw in there not to compare education or position. A mom is a mom. Yes, at first it may be intimidating to find out the mom sitting next to you is head of the state bar association, or has a Ph. D, but you know what? We are all just humans...and fellow moms. I bet Ann Romney has her finger on the pulse of her areas of expertise just like any other stay-at-home mom. She is worth a listen, just like every mom.
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