Negative Parenting is Alive and Well

Unfortunately.

This is something that I thought would emerge from those who parented in the 1930s.

Today we have so many more influences, so many more resources to give us input and so many real life examples that show us blaming and shaming does not work. Not only does it not work, it causes so much damage kids end up in counseling... as messed up adults.

So I am asking - were you negatively parented? Are you passing this on to your family? Are you treating other adults in your circle of influence the same fault-finding way you were possibly treated? Check yourself. I hope you are not surprised.

I watch the reruns of the show KING OF QUEENS just because it is on while I am prepping dinner. I really only like the father character played by Jerry Stiller (Ben's papa). The married couple that this show is based on is so negative I wince, although actors Kevin James and Leah Remini nail their parts and I appreciate their acting. It's just that they do their negativity so well, I can't relax while watching this comedy.

As an easily distracted follower of a butterfly, I cannot believe it would be fun to be a negative person. Yet I run into these adult types more frequently than I would like. These people seem to embrace their demeanor and are unaware of the wide wake they leave behind. They are parents and employers and volunteers and just plain people walking the earth.

I just can't believe that any young parent would have a goal to produce a negative person that would in turn harm others. But by not taking action, or by not taking the time to explain -- that is what will happen. Worse yet, by teaching a child that their feelings rule the universe, they empower and inadvertently train a child in the same way.

Then of course we find the adult children of these meanies who pass on the same negativity just because they think they are removed from their parental shackles. Only to find out that they have become the parent they so despised.

How much better to live for truth all along! To teach forgiveness and encourage a hope for a better future.

I for one do not need to experience one more person who has not dealt with their past and is passing it on to other unfortunates that cross their paths.

We've all had bad days. Let's be sure it stays with us and some careful sharing of trusted friends. I don't want to mess up anyone else's life with my stuff, and that includes my kids first and foremost.