The Worst Parenting Response Ever

This entry is from my personal diary

An amicably divorced father of a grown daughter age 24 got a middle of the night call that she’d been arrested for DUI the night before Thanksgiving. Mercifully, no one or thing had been hurt. Because of the holiday, she was being held until Friday before she could be bailed out of jail.

The father and daughter had been invited to longtime family friends for Thanksgiving, but because his daughter was in jail and he had missed some sleep visiting her that morning, he determined not to go to the dinner. He tried to have another relative make his excuses (but not to share the real reason because it would embarrass his jailed daughter). The relative declined to take on the assignment and the father made his own regrets.

Rather than be concerned about his daughter’s conduct or safety, he focused on the good spirits she was in and visited her twice on Thanksgiving. The next day, he bailed her out of jail and he and her mother cooked an entire Thanksgiving dinner to make up for the one their daughter had missed the day before. Remember, these people are divorced so their girl missed two.

Both of my kids react in horror at this scenario. They know me well. They know these people. Each of them have told me at separate times, “Don’t worry Mom, I know if I go to jail you wouldn’t bail me out…and you wouldn’t visit me, either.” Especially if they went to jail for the same circumstances – they could wait and wait to be freed but I’m not going to enable them. And recreate a holiday meal they missed due to their own illegal actions? Not a chance!

That 24-year-old carelessly took lives of others in her hands. It is a miracle that no one was harmed. I’ve tried to raise my kids to realize others exist and to act with regard for all human life. If they don’t, they experience the consequence of that poor decision. No make-up feasts from me, certainly no fixing their mistakes. My love is about truth and taking responsibility for what we do.

Sadly, the above parents continued to cover and minimize reality some 6 years later. Their child has been crippled by her parents' main plan to cover up rather than coach. She is unable to function autonomously, much less contribute to the world. But continues to party on and look good on Face Book.