The best illustration I have regarding my core belief that I will not lie is when we took our son to California's Legoland for his 6th birthday. At that time, we lived in Sacramento - about an eight hour drive from the north. His birthday is at the beginning of December, so we combined the trip with a Thanksgiving visit to his L.A. based grandparents. We ate turkey with them, then a day or so later headed further south to celebrate in Legoland for two days. You just can't see enough in one day.
Due to scheduling and work logistics, our trip would conclude several days before our son's actual Big Day. He was fully aware of the timing, and eager to partake of all the theme park had to offer. I have a precious image embedded in my mind of him wearing his physical birthday gift while sitting on a mechanical horse - a Lego-y knight's costume complete with shield and sword. He was leaning forward with the most innocent big smile...
If you have never been to the original Legoland in Southern California, it is quite different from the small version in Mall of America. It is one of the most hands-on, clean and inspiring theme-places to take children. They interact with rides, they participate in creation stations and the food is top notch.
One of the rides we went to was a two person race car. The bored attendant told us (the only people in that line) that the ride was for children ages 6 and up, then asked if our son was 6.
He looked up at me with his big blue eyes, so full of trust and eager to get on the ride, yet knowing he did not actually turn 6 for three more days, waiting for my reply. I knew this was a moment that would set the stage for his future. I couldn't just "round up" in my reply just because we were so close to his birthday. He would consider it a lie.
"He will be 6 in three more days," I smiled.
"Sorry," said the poorly trained attendant. "He has to be 6 to ride."
"He will be 6 in just three more days," I repeated. "This trip is his birthday present but we won't be here then and he would really like to go on this ride." Big smile.
She was not interested and shook her head no, then looked away.
We didn't get to go on that ride.
As we walked away toward another ride, his hand in mine, my heart ached for his disappointment. "That's not fair!" He said. I agreed. "My birthday is just a couple more days away!" I told him I agreed, and pointed out that she was trained with words, but could not think when it came to real people. I told him I was sorry we couldn't go on this ride, speaking far more upbeat than I really felt.
Then I said I was glad that we had told the truth, and that he saw his mother tell the truth, even when a person didn't respond kindly. I wanted him to know his mommie told the truth so that he could always trust me. He squeezed my hand as we met up with his dad and he got to tell him all about the lady who "was too picky".
I still wince that he didn't get to go on that one ride, but am so glad I didn't stretch the truth with a very concrete thinking little person at my side. Kids need to know that parents won't compromise just to get what they want.
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