Are All Efforts Equal?

When I was in middle school P.E., our gym teacher gave the class an option of A, B, or C Routines to prepare for during the gymnastics unit. Each routine had increasingly difficult manouevers. If the student included each element during their final performance, they would earn that grade for the quarter.

Because I have never been able to do a cartwheel, I was not able to consider the complete C Routine. I could do some of the elements in the B and all of those in C, just no cartwheel. So, I devised a "D Routine" and worked hard practicing all my steps, minus the cartwheel. When the day came to perform our routines, a group gathered around the mats with curious smiles because they couldn't believe I was trying to get a D.

Our gym teacher was impressed that I had taken the initiative in spite of the fact that my wrists are not gymnastically friendly. She gave me a C+.

I did the best I could within the parameters required, but I could not perform to the standard. At age 13 I understood that some people can do things that others can't do and was comfortable with my clumsiness in that area.

Do we need to teach our children that they should be good at everything they do? That in absolutely every single they do, they are expected to be gold standard? From posture and manners to figuring out electronic games and performing in sports? Don't forget academics!

Has anyone noticed that there is only one Gold medal per sport? One Super Bowl winner? One fastest selling laptop? One New York Times bestseller at a time? One Number One chart-topping-hit? One Oscar for Best Picture? One oldest person in the world?

If we agree with this, then why do we allow our children to think otherwise? That everyone is super-great-awesome-special-top-performing? YES, to God we are all unique snowflakes with gifts and charachter he delights in. In that way we are all super-great-awesome-special. But we all can't have a 4.5 GPA. We all can't win the race or be the MVP. That is reality.

The sooner we teach our kids that who they are is more important than what they do, the sooner we get rid of the mentality that it's everyone or no one who gets an honors award. In life, some people win awards. Most do not. Do we work hard for the award or for the work itself? Achievment is not equal nor should it be, because we all have different capabilities and passions. (I don't want to be the best cook in the world, but I want his recipes!)

If we continue to bend toward the thinking that "someone might feel bad" and water down achievements, we will continue to diminish the value of trying hard and accomplishments based on merit. Do we want a country where everyone gets a C because that's "fair", and knowingly diminish those who excel? Isn't this teaching people not to try, because everyone will get a certificate anyway?

We can't deny that kids learn things at different speeds. Like tying shoes. Should we outlaw shoes with laces so that every child feels good about their shoe skills? The artificial equality in performance has to stop.

Let's recognize and encourage our kids in their areas of giftedness. Some of it will appear on a report card or come home as a medal. Some of it might be seen only by your family, not on a jumbo tron. At least they will be valued for who they are. Now that's something I want every child to understand.