A Box of Rocks

When I was in second grade, school budgets included teaching the arts. We had a music teacher who came into our class several times each week in order to teach us music fundamentals. Something North American children born in the past 30 years would know nothing about.

One week our musically trained teacher was teaching our class about rhythm. She toted in a crate of beautiful tambourines - enough for just about every one of the 28 kids in the room. She began passing out the tambourines, and each recipient marveled at the shiny metal clapper things and the taut drum-like surface. I remember eagerly waiting at my desk to receive the one for me. I must have been sitting off to the side, because shortly before she reached me, the music teacher informed the class that there weren't quite enough for everyone. Some of us would be using an alternative, but that would work just as well.

The remaining 3 second graders - me included - were given empty individual milk cartons taped shut with rocks inside. You can imagine our disappointment and no, the clunking rocks in the wax cartons sounded nothing like the glorious tinkles made by the 25 nice and new tambourines. All three of us frowned and barely jiggled our milk cartons during the lesson. Our regular teacher rose from her desk and scolded us for not being better participants. The other 25 kids snickered at us.

That was my music introduction as a young child. While it certainly wasn't fun, I went on to become an average flute and piccolo player for awhile. Don't ask me about guitar.

Fast forward to when I became a mom.

I wanted each of my kids to have a better experience early on so I signed them up for the church Christmas musical and/or the school's Christmas performance. They were taught by people enthusiastic about music and children. They learned to sing, be part of a group, rehearse and perform. They each only did it for a couple of years and by the time they were the age when I got that magical box of rocks, their interest had waned. They had fun rehearsing in the car and with the group, and those songs "got stuck" in their heads.

The other day I had the good fortune to attend a children's Christmas concert at a large church. The kids were in several choirs and interchanged on the stage for an hour. There was even a hand bell choir - I'd never heard one of those before but I know handbells are difficult to play. Video screens allowed the audience to see close-ups of bright eyes, sweet lips, chubby cheeks and noses getting picked. We saw fidgeters, big hair bows and special Christmas attire. The children were between age 4 and 10. None of them were mine or even friends' of mine. They were just sweet, innocent and trusting. It was wonderful to both watch and listen... and wonder about their futures. I teared up as I always do when I see groups of kids earnestly performing and said silent prayers for blessings for their futures.

Every young child should participate in at least one Christmas concert. Even if they are less than musically inclined, they can enjoy their contributions as well as the music. They can create memories not only for themselves, but for their friends and family members tapping away on their smart phones to capture the moments.

As I sat admiring this group of scrubbed, shiny-cheeked youngsters, I thought back on my two babies and how many times we heard each song as they practiced. I remembered my delight in purchasing a new Christmas outfit and giggling from the audience when they were off on gestures or lost attention. My girl at age 3 was reaching her little arms to the sky as an angel when she noticed the sparkly polish on her fingernails and became mesmerized. She turned to the little girl next to her and they both forgot about the performance and marveled at those fingernails. It cracked the entire audience up and made the event even more special for everyone. I will always treasure that moment in my heart. It passed all too quickly.

There were many other children in the audience enjoying the performance, including toddlers who were spellbound every time the music started up. Music reaches deep within each one of us and touches our hearts. How wonderful to have uplifting music flowing through our memories. In today's fast-paced, technologically-driven world, a bit of exposure to tradition goes a long way.

To Santa or Not to Santa?

One of my favorite Christmas films of all time that never fails to put me in the "Christmas spirit" is the 1947 movie form 20th Century-Fox: Miracle on 34th Street. It's a story of a single mother jaded by miracles who has taught her little girl to be reasonable and never use her imagination. The mom is the producer of the famous Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and ends up having to a hire a new Santa Claus at the last minute. Kris Kringle is in the right place at the right time. He brings some new thinking to their lives.

This sweet story became a surprise hit and was nominated for a Best Picture Oscar in 1948. It won three Academy Awards (two for writing and Best Supporting Actor). In 2006, it ranked #9 on the American Film Institute's list of 100 Most Inspiring Movies of All Time. It stars Maureen O'Hara, a young Natalie Wood as her daughter and Edmund Gwenn as Kris Kringle (Best Supporting Actor and he wasn't even the first choice for the part!).  The fact that it was a Christmas film was initially kept under wraps because the studio released it in the summer to capture the larger movie-going audience. The parade scenes in the movie are from the actual 1946 parade and guess who was the parade Santa that year? Yup, Edmund Gwenn. The scenes from the Macy's store are also filmed in the actual NYC flagship store. When the film was released, Macy stores actually closed for a half day so that all 12,000 employees could go see the first showing. There have been a number of remakes since 1947, but none so charming as the original.

Every year after Thanksgiving, our family sits down to enjoy the story once again. It puts perspective on Santa Claus. I'm not going to spoil it for you if you haven't seen it. Watch it and see for yourself. It can even be a spring board for talking about Santa with your children.

Which brings me to one of the controversial parenting questions I hear. Should we teach our children about Santa Claus? There are two extremes I've seen. The families that go all-out for Santa, ignoring the birth of Christ completely and teaching their kids Santa is real and ever-watching and they "had better be good or he'll find out." They show their kids the websites where you can contact Santa and call NORAD on Christmas Eve. No Nativity scenes or angels for them - but snowmen are okay. Then there's the other end of the spectrum where Santa has no part of a "real" Christmas, it's "a pagan idea" along with the Christmas tree. The holiday is solely about the birth of Christ and that's it.

I think both approaches miss something, and in our family and others that we know there is a blending as sweet as the Miracle on 34th Street movie. We decorate for Christmas with a tree containing ornaments collected each year that have unique meanings. Just setting up the tree sparks many happy memories and conversations. This tradition has become even more important the older our kids get. We hang up stockings that I made. Oh my has my handiwork and style evolved over the years! There are even stockings for our pets. Some years we have lights and boughs outside, some years we set up our Christmas village. When the kids were little, I displayed their pictures with Santa.

Yes, I said Santa. I took my kids each year - dressed in their nicest outfits - to have a picture taken with the mall Santa. It was fun to see how the kids had grown from year to year. So I took them to Santa for the picture. And I told my kids that many families tell their children that Santa brings presents while they sleep on Christmas Eve. He travels the world with his toy-packed sleigh led by flying reindeer. I presented this as an idea, not a fact. Our kids learned that long ago there was a real man who loved to give presents to children and his name was Saint Nicholas. Over the years, that name has morphed into Santa Claus and created an entire industry. We left presents out on behalf of Santa (now we fill stockings) but they always knew who was really behind it. It was just nostalgic fun. And we instructed the kids never to talk about Santa with other kids, because their families might be teaching them he is real. They kept their mouths shut and enjoyed our entire Christmas.

A great children's book you can use with your family that discusses Santa, Saint Nicholas and Jesus is Santa Are You For Real? by Harold Myra. It echoes what I am talking about.

The main focus for us was and is the celebration of Christ's birth. We focus on giving, not getting. Each child got 3 gifts just like Jesus did. We attend church and re-read Christ's birth story from the Bible. We play a variety of music - from traditional carols to worship songs. One of our favorite songs is "Mary Did You Know?" It never ceases to bring tears of awe. If you Google it, you can find links to a number of versions to listen to (Kathy Mattea does it for us).

Call us blenders. We've taken different elements and created our own traditions. Since Chrstmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, he's our focus. Every year, it gets less about stuff and more about  celebrating as we enjoy time with those we love.