When my daughter was three years old, she had an ear infection so I got to work from home that day. Rambunctious as usual, it took multiple trips up and down stairs to get this energized child to even think of napping. After about 30 minutes of silence, I tip-toed upstairs to check on my precious child.
As I opened her door, I was horrified to discover that I had left the new Tylenol bottle on her dresser. The childproof cap had not deterred her decision to "help Mommie" and "get better faster" by finishing off its contents. Her happy pink smeared smile greeted me as she clutched her big white teddy bear with the same spills on his face. The bottle of Children's Tylenol sat empty next to her bed.
As I stammered and gathered her into my arms to rush downstairs and call poison control, my eyes swept around the pink bedroom so carefully decorated by me and so fully occupied by my baby girl. Would this be the last time she would be here alive? My mind flipped back through memories of our normal life and clawed to have more, no matter how frustrating. Anything, all of it! I wanted her here with me alive.
We spent hours on the phone back and forth between poison control and her doctor, inducing vomit and praying like crazy. I will never forget that chilling time of waiting where I didn't know if I was still going to get to be a mother with my child living on earth. The cold awareness that there are no guarantees engulfed me like a shroud.
Fast forward... recently a dear family lost their baby boy at just 22 weeks in the womb. Another family lost a one-year old baby just days after a healthy check-up. Another family is down at Mayo Clinic waiting for the doctors to figure out what is poisoning their toddler. On and on the stories go. I think of each of them and ache.
I remember the fleeting moments with my child that chilling day where I wished we could go back in time and get away from this horrible moment of reality. Just one hour would remove the Tylenol scare.
But we can't go back, as much as we would like to especially when the story does not end well. Just one blink of time can change our lives forever.
When I think about this, I become more in awe of how precious time is, and how I do not want to take any of it for granted. We don't need a big trip to Disney World to make an important memory or have a special moment together with our families. The little moments are precious, regardless of what we are doing. And each one we have is a gift of time from God.
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