When our itty bitties are itty and bitty, we naturally dole out nibblets like mama birds. I understand this. We want our darlings to keep nourished.
But as our precious ones get taller and attend school, I really don't think they need to sit in the nest and still and squawk for snacks to be spit into their billets. (Forget main meals - they can hear you ring the bell or clang the gong for that feed.) They know how to self-feed, don't they? Yet?
Here is what I don't understand: Parents who control snacks. Down to the time of day and number of crackers or apple slices. You know - the age when your kid is school-aged or even able to comprehend.Why give yourself more work? Do you really want to be tied in to more details than necessary?
"Tommy you can only have 3 Rtiz crackers or you will spoil your dinner! Do not even think about asking for one more!", "Sally, you are nine but I need you to ask me first before you get a glass of water and I need to pour it for you." "Roger, you did not finish your kale at lunch so forget any snack now!" These are just a few of the parent diatribes I frequently hear. They are followed by the bugle sound from the old Charlie Brown cartoons when the adult spoke... only now it's the whining from the kid who just wants a little something more to eat. The parent then spends another half hour saying
"no" multiple times.
Boring.
What is the big deal about counting their bites? Sure. If they want to eat a quart of ice cream a half hour before dinner. Or toast a loaf of bread --- unless they are a teen boy, don't worry. They will still eat dinner. Forget that bag of Cheetos. That's a duh.
But hey. If they just got home from school at 4:30 (and unfortunately, I know that happens way too often for elementary kids) please give them a snack!
So what if they get "too full" on veggies and fruits and can't eat all their "dinner"? Who cares?! They ate well and got multiple servings from the magical Food Pyramid. It's not like they are "too full" of pizza or other conveyor-belt nothings. They ate real food and got full. Time to celebrate, not dictate.
Can you separate from what you experienced while growing up? Your kiddos really can exist along with you but not need to be attached like a leech. I have no memory of my Betty Crocker Mama putting a special cookie on a plate after school. Beaver's mom even poured a special glass of milk. (Bet he got out of school at 2:30!)
When my darlings were in elementary school, I kept the fridge stocked with veggies and fruits. There was a "Kid Zone" in the pantry where I kept repackaged cereal combinations with very little sugar. Let's just call that "gravel". They had full access and did not need to ask me a thing. Between the "gravel" and the fruits and veggies in the fridge, my kids could "free feed" just like our dog. They knew where "their" food was located, could have all the water they wanted and go to the bathroom without permission. I didn't care how much good stuff they ate or water they drank. Heck, add milk to that list. Just as long as they knew where the dishwasher, sink and garbage were.
When I observe parents unnecessarily inserting themselves into situations they make more complicated, I am stupefied. Why add more to the list? If you give your kids good guidelines and provide healthy snack options what does it matter to you?
For me, I didn't even know enough to want to save my brain cells and not waste my breath counting out the correct amount of Gold Fish crackers. Interrupting an adult conversation to go pour a glass of water my child was fully capable of doing did not occur to me. I just didn't see the need to control and simply wanted to raise emerging adults who would make positive decisions on their own.
Snacks? That is indeed sweating the very small stuff. Ahhh just call me lazy or ignorant. Either way, am I ever glad I didn't spend any time on food patrol.
Gots me two great ones!
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