Besides who won which Oscar, the Big Hollywood News trending this week is why a celebrity mother of a young actress who starred in a sexually controversial movie chose not to see her kid's movie. With a microphone in her face on The Red Carpet, mom Melanie Griffith admitted she did not plan to see the movie. Despite daughter Dakota Johnson's snippy interruptions that she would be seeing the movie - trying to soften mom's admission. Mom kept a smile on her face and calmly stated she did not wish to see her daughter under those circumstances. Dakota twitched.
Bravo to mom! Especially a celebrity mom with her kid "in the business", that took guts. Especially on A Big Night in North America on live television.
This brings me to the topic: How far should parents go in order to support their children? My abusive first husband's family stood stalwartly by his side pointing fingers at me when I finally said enough was enough and had him arrested. Friends told me "blood was thicker than water". Apparently, blood trumped cruel behavior? I've seen parents get blindly indignant when their cheating kid is caught, I've had parents argue with me because I advocated a child's punishment for what they did to break the law. I have seen parents hire the best lawyer to get their kid off from admittedly stealing a car or bailing them out of jail for their DUI. The Lifetime channel is full of movies about parents who supposedly "want the best" for their children and will do anything for them. Anything and everything.
Wrong.
If your kid is flunking, she is flunking. If your kid is stealing, he is stealing. It's your kid's Science Fair Project, not yours. Let your kids experience life's real consequences for their choices, don't give in to the temptation to fix it or over-help or sweep it under the carpet. You think you are protecting them but you are actually harming them.
It's one thing to love your bambinos to pieces, and quite another to respect their choices or even like the kid. Just because you are their parent doesn't mean you look the other way when they do something you don't approve of. And don't go thinking I'm saying you should become a judge! I'm talking about recognizing evil as evil, breaking the law as arrest-worthy, and immorality as immorality. I know one mom who wants her adult kid to like her so much she bites her lip when they bring the date home to have sex on her new couch and leave used condoms underneath. What? She believes if she "makes" her child mad, they will turn their back on her.
I love it when a parent speaks up gracefully and states what is not okay. Remember, our job is not to get our kids to like us, it's to raise a solid citizen. Just like leadership in any other venue, being liked is not as important as getting the right job done and seeing the big picture.
Hats off to a celebrity mom for standing her ground and not giving the expected response in hopes of pleasing Hollywood and getting a boost for her career. Now that's a woman worthy of respect. And the daughter? Not so much. And not just because she allowed Hollywood to use her for a trending money-maker, but because of her reaction to her mother at her event. Poor choice, Dakota. Your mom will always be your mama. And yep, sometimes it is okay not to be proud of an adult child's decisions.
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