"I Want to Give My Children More Than I Had"

A frequent statement many parents make. They want life to be better for their next gen.

It usually refers to tangible items. A bigger home. Better school. More opportunities. Better toys. You get it.

This thought has never ocurred to me as a firecely kid-loving mom. While I have not been able to provide my kiddos with some of the accutraments of my just slightly priviledged middle class life, I have indeed given them more than I had.

In spades.

So we didn't go skiing at Lake Tahoe, vacation in the Virgin Islands or have a boat. We don't belong to a country club or get huge clothing discounts because of where dad works. There aren't matching his and hers new cars every two years and we can't go off and buy anything we want anytime we want. And we don't have the latest technology toy or season tickets almost all year long. The only delivery we get on a regular basis is the mail.

When my first kid was little, she had just one pair of toddler shoes and I had to save even to purchase her a  $15 crib mobile. Her furniture came on sale from the unpainted furniture store, her carseat was the low end model and videos (yes videos) came one at a time, just like books. Second kid only had two pairs of shoes and inherited all those hard won videos and by then the TV was "old" and could go in the family room. We never bought toy upon toy, just simple ones that lasted. The only clutter you would have seen was when the tote box of Legos or Barbies got dumped out.

The biggest difference between my growing up and that of my children is the emphasis of faith in our lives. My parents took us to church the way you go to the grocery store. It was an acitivity to check off the list. The other 167 hours of our week were not impacted at all. God was in the Sunday box at 11:00. In my very own family, God was part of all 168 hours each week.

Sure there was Sunday, kids clubs and VBS not to mention kids choirs and musicals. But there was also reinforcement as we drove along the road, went for walks, ate and played. There was ongoing prayer - not just at meals or bedtimes. Like praying every time we heard an ambulance or saw a driver being reckless. We prayed often, and aloud. Prayers were short so my kids could learn that God hears every peep. And we didn't just ask for stuff, we prayed for others and said a lot of thank yous. My kids grew up knowing God created the numbers they were learning to add and subtract. God created the potatoes that got made into chips. God created the people who grew up to invent things like iPads. God rules over all, it is humans that mess things up on Earth, not God.

My kids also learned that they were not only delighted in by God, they were also the delight of my life. That did not mean I worked to make them or keep them happy, though. They learned that while to me they were the most special child in the world, they were sitting in school next to 21 other special ones. We emphasized the value of a single person every chance we got. I constantly pointed us to God in whatever circumstance we were in, and sometimes there were tangible answers that the kids could see.  Sometimes we had to rest in the knowledge that God heard, even if we couldn't see.

While my parents goal for me was to marry well, know important people and be someone, I became just that but not in the country club vice president way they hoped. I married a godly man who is invested in our family and is there for us every single day. I know important people because in God's eyes, that is what everyone is. Sure some are even corporate honchos or physicians, and some are farmers, clerks or have special needs. Some are even unsavory. They are all equally important in my eyes. While I can appreciate a custom home decorated like a model, it does not cause me to pee in my panties with shock and awe or behave any differently than I do when I am in a home furnished from a flea market. The only difference is that I ask how to do that cool techniue myself.

And I certainly am someone! No big title or letters after my name. No fat 401K or bank account. No awards or books (yet). But I am someone who is loved by God and loves others, doing my best so that He will one day say "well done" in both the big and small opportunities that came my way. The most important effort to me is in raising children who grow up to be solid citizens and both  contribute to and impact their world. Yes indeed, I am giving my kids more than I had - in spades.